Mental Health of Counselors

Counselors are the people help people to help themselves. They serve people for attaining better wellbeing. In the process, the counselors have to keep their wellbeing better.

Counselors are human beings too!

The emotional problems of the counselors which could not be solved for very long periods in many attempts can be one of the hindering factors for not being in the state of positive wellbeing. In the words of Freud, it can be ‘Unresolved Conflicts’. Sometimes it is possible that one speaks about anger management, stress management, positive thinking & etc in counseling and training programmes but is not able to follow in the realistic life. It is natural for everyone that whatever is spoken cannot be practiced completely. Psychologists are also a part of that everyone.

The unresolved conflicts can be due to personal problems of the counselor otherwise, the following reason too. Counselors keep hearing negative things from the clients who leave all the dusts in the room and counselors are sometimes happened to inhale those dusts. Take the example of Policemen; they tend to behave harshly as they are kept with the criminals. I hope it is proven by researches too. However, a counselor can handle negative downloads from clients as a matter of information to proceed with therapeutic strategies. A counselor’s office can have an ambience that is calm, comfortable to bear the negative download. Sometimes it is not possible for counselors by being over empathetic. I heard one of the pioneer counselors in Chennai telling in a counselors meeting “Coming beyond the negativities that are got from Clients and keep oneself positive is the first quality of a good counselor.”

Coming beyond Negativities, Preventing Burn-out & Positive Wellbeing

Counselors need to spend time for the self and can think twice to keep counseling schedules affecting the physical and mental health. Doing something in non-counseling areas and spending time to keep oneself positive are the other techniques to prevent burn-out and maintain positive wellbeing.

The other solution can be ‘Having a counselor to counsel’ when a counselor finds that it is not possible to solve the unresolved conflicts by him/herself. It’s a well established factor that counseling is not so effective to friends and relatives of the counselor, so how it is possible to counsel oneself and solve?! Therefore it is better for Counselors to keep the ego at the back and get counseling from another experienced counselor.

An SMS received in my mobile says the following, “The Surprising thing about mankind is-We lose our (mental) health to make money and then lose our money to restore our (mental) health”

A culturally strong Technique to maintain Positive Wellbeing

When we look at the generations prior to us, it can be found that they had maintained positive wellbeing with out the help of Counselors. They had used some techniques in the name of Religion, Spirituality and Culture. One of those techniques is Meditation. Therefore meditation is the next suggestion that I’m going to explain in order to maintain positive wellbeing.

Meditation does not come under Psychological Techniques since it is not scientifically proven by researches. Psychology has been receiving concepts from the west. All the concepts given by (Western) Psychology cannot fully be adapted to our country. The techniques given by Western Psychology may be less efficient for the Indian Community.

Meditation has been followed by the Indian Community for many centuries to keep oneself positive. It is a culturally strong technique and so steps have to be taken to include it in the current knowledge of Psychology.

5 Easy Steps to follow

An easy method of meditation comprises the following steps,

1. Sit straight as the hip, back and head are at a straight line.
2. Clench the hands together.
3. Close the eyes.
4. Breathe in and breathe out as usual slowly, don’t force and keep monitoring the breath. (Please note that the stomach part should be bulgy while breathing-in and it has to come to normal state while breathing-out)
5. Count ‘one’ for the breath. Keep counting up to 30 following the 4^th step.

By doing these steps for daily at least twice a day, with the help of a stop-watch it can be found the time of a breath gradually increases. If it takes one minute to complete 30 breaths, then a breath is for 2 seconds. By keep practicing, after one month it may go up to the level of 5 seconds for a breath. The continuous practice on daily basis can keep increasing the time of breath. Practicing in a calm place with good air circulation is better. If possible, breathe in and breathe out for 60 times.

This may seem to be a breathing exercise. Of course, it is a breathing exercise in a way. Counselors suggest clients to take a deep breath when they go out of control, but the clients are conditioned not to remember it when they become aggressive. Here the conditioning would take place practicing it daily at regular timings. The 5 minutes can make one to be under control for the whole day after a continuous practice.

Is it effective?!

It is a meditation by the aspect of monitoring the breath. While comparing with the relaxation techniques, it is easier in the dimension of Instructions. There are many more methods available on meditation, but this method can serve as a good starting point for the people who practice meditation for the first time.

The effectiveness of this method can be theoretically explained. A long breath provides great amount of oxygen to the brain and other body organs. Breath is a continuous thing happening in our body which is seldom monitored. Thus monitoring breath makes individuals to monitor even the things that are unnoticed for a very long period such as the self.

Counselors can practice this to improve and maintain positive wellbeing and recommend for the clients too, because it’s not going to harm by side-effects. It is going to be good to sit in a calm place to relax in the name of meditation. Moreover it takes only few minutes to practice. In the process of maintaining positive wellbeing, meditation can help the counselors to keep introspecting themselves to stay mentally healthy. Anyone who practices meditation regularly can convey the changes which have been taking place in the self after starting to practice meditation.

In the fast-paced life, counselors may not be able to practice meditation if it is going to be time-consuming. That’s why, the method of meditation which takes very minimum time is suggested here. If one is ready to dedicate time, can learn some more effective methods of meditation after practicing this method at least for one month regularly.

To conclude

To maintain a better wellbeing, to bear the negative downloads and to solve the unresolved conflicts, counselors can follow the techniques ‘maintaining a balanced life’, ’doing something in non-counseling areas’, ‘having a counselor’ and ‘practicing meditation’. Following these suggestions would enable counselors to be effective in the profession and personal life.

I think the given suggestions are easy to follow. Is it true that only if something so complex to follow, it’s very great and worthy? Not necessarily, right?! Let’s give a try and find it!!

Counseling and Counselors

Counseling is a noble and helping profession. As we all know, a counselor is just a facilitator in the process of Counseling. The aim may be Behavior modification or resolving problems.

The first duty of the counselor is to clarify the doubts of client about the counseling process. Clients can be clarified by telling the following in small doses.

“Unless you yourself internalize the idea of modifying the behavior, it is not possible to modify the behavior. A counselor can give suggestions and ideas and help the client to change him/herself.

You are the one who has been with you since your birth and will be with you till the death. So you should have known the most about yourself. If you initiate the process of knowing yourself, you can select the appropriate things with the help of the counselor.

It’s a must to utilize all your potentials to solve your own problems. When you are not able even after trying all your efforts, you should seek help. The counselor will make you congruent, help you to come off the emotions, reason logically and give suggestions according to your personality.

You bear the responsibility of making decisions just because you are the one who is going to face the consequences of it.

If you often seek help from the counselor, then you become dependent on the counselor. You forget your potentials and lose your self. You eventually get into Learned Helplessness! (In the last stage)”

An ideal counselor must first understand the problem of the client and the personality of the client. After comprehending them, he/she should try to make him/her congruent by using all the knowledge he/she got from studying psychology and using counseling skills. It is very important to make the client self aware. After attaining congruency, counselor can help the client to come with his/ her own suggestions and analyze which is the most appropriate.

The counselor must not generalize the problems of client and look into the problems of every client as unique since all the human beings are unique.

I would say there is absolutely nothing wrong and right in this world. Everything is relative. The same thing in one situation which is regarded as right is regarded as wrong in another situation. For example, murdering a person is wrong generally but Law can give capital punishment and murder or murdering the enemies in war is rewarded. In Philosophy we call it as Teleological Ethics (Deontological Ethics says everything is absolute).

Referring to Tradition or Modern or Post Modern Concepts to determine whether the idea of the client is right or wrong will not work. The counselor and client can look into the concept ‘Which is most suitable in this situation and to the Client?’ for which both the client and counselor are be open minded and non judgmental since we know counseling is a collaborative process.

Giving straight away suggestions without understanding the client and the uniqueness of his/her problem by generalizing the problems will lead to serious injuries to both counselor and client.

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I hope as counselors we have understood all the above things and we know what are the skills needed for counselors such as unconditional positive regard, empathy and confidentiality.

As soon as I finished writing the above article, the two parts of my heart had started the conversation as follows,

“Do I have all the skills really and do I apply all of them in my daily life?”

“Hey, I don’t counsel anybody everyday; it is not needed to have the skills now and let me acquire the skills when I become full-time counselor.”

“No da! If I don’t practice the skill while I am learning counseling psychology, then it is impossible to become a well reputed counselor because as soon as I sit in the counselor seat, I cannot immediately acquire the skills. Acquiring Skills is a process and that must start now itself.”

“Karthik, you don’t have people with problems to do counseling, where will you find them and start practicing?”

“Ya, It’s not possible na! But I have people around me, right? The lab for counseling psychology is around me and includes me too!!”

“Yahoo! So I can become a well reputed counselor in the future if I use the lab; I will apply all the knowledge I have got and acquire those skills”

So I can start trying to apply the skills of counseling in my daily life with everyone around me and with myself.

The terms counselor and client are very professional. So I thought of coming little down and say client is the one who talks about his/her problems, thoughts and behavior with us. The Counselor is the one whom the client believes. Even though they do not share the problems or their thoughts and behavior with us, we can think of helping and it is good to help when they believe us.

We can think of others behavior, analyze and keep it confidential when the person believes us, we can help. If we want to share that with someone else to know whether our understanding is right, it is better to discuss with only one person who would also keep things confidential.

Our duty is to help others and not make others get into problems by revealing our understanding!

So, when I asked from where I should start, I look how much percentage of counseling skills I have at present and so I can work on the skills which I lack.

For some counseling skills the ratio was “Yes-60%, No-40%”, for some others it’s “Yes-40%, No-60%” and for some more like empathy, it was “Yes-0%, No-100%”

But I joined this course assuming that I have the personality and skill set of a good counselor. Now I realize that there is a lot more to be developed.

To increase the percentage of ‘yes’, I must start from the thought. I believe the following is a fact!

Thoughts --> Action/Behavior --> Habit --> Character --> Personality.

So I’ll become the personality one day desirably within the period of completing this course if I start today.

So let us start asking the following questions which I asked myself regarding my relationship with others in my daily life and answered to become better.

1. Are we Open Minded or do we have parochial/tunnel view?
2. Don’t we generalize any of the behavior or thoughts of ours and anybody else?
3. Do we think everyone is unique and don’t we compare anybody?
4. Do we accept people around you as they are?
5. Do we have unconditional positive regard towards our fellow human beings?
6. Are we not judgmental?
7. Do you look at emotions rather than logic in the behavior?
8. Do we have empathy toward others i.e. are we able to put ourselves in the other’s situation?
9. Do we maintain confidentiality of others behaviors or problems?

10. Are we able to comprehend the psychological concepts in the behavior of people?

11. Are we able to easily forgive people for their mistakes?

12. Do we help others whatever is within our limits?

13. Do we clarify things from others why is the behavior or limit your understanding to your senses and opinions?

14. Do we spend time for others at least one minute for most of the people around you?

15. Do we have adjustmental problems with the neighbors and if yes, how can we adjust with a new person (i.e.) the client?

“CAN IT BE CALLED AS A TOOL TO MEASURE THE PERSONALITY TRAIT CALLED COUNSELOR?!”

“No, not at all!! There is no personality trait like that. So May it be called as a tool to measure the skills of a counselor??”

We are not born as Counselors but we can become because it is just acquiring skills which needs little more efforts in everyday life!

Moreover as a student of philosophy, I would suggest that we should read some elements of philosophy because Psychology is the last child of Philosophy (regarded as Mother of all sciences and the first child is Physics). To be open-minded, we need to read the books on “Ethics & Contemporary Moral Issues” where many number of arguments are given ‘for’ and ‘against’ a behavior/action like Abortion, Capital Punishment and Homosexuality. The overview of what is ethics can also be known from that.

Finally a word of caution, please ensure from an expert whether you really go behind the correct form of skill. It’s just because “Practice makes permanent (not perfect)” If you practice wrongly, it will be permanent; will become a part of your personality and modifying it would take so much time.

Reality Therapy-A Presentation

Objectives of this Presentation

To know a brief history of the founder, To understand what made him to found a new therapy, To identify the basic concepts of Reality Therapy, Trying to apply in our lives & issues and How to use it to our clients.

William Glasser is the founder

was born in 1925 and raised in Cleveland, Ohio, The US. was initially a Chemical Engineer went into psychiatry when it became apparent to him that this was his real interest in life. During his early years as a psychiatrist, he met Dr. G. L. Harrington, an older psychiatrist and credits him his "mentor." was in private practice from 1957 to 1986. In 1970s, he was influenced by Perceptual Control Theory developed by William T. Powers And named his body of work as “Control Theory” In 1996, he renamed it as Choice Theory, mainly because he wanted to avoid confusion with perceptual control theory.

Dr. Glasser Now

Is 84 years old is semi-retired but is still a much sought-after speaker on Reality Therapy and Choice Theory internationally. Keeps Training in The William Glasser Institute The William Glasser Institute Founded in 1967 Is located in Chatsworth, California, and has branch institutes throughout the world. Over 75,000 people worldwide have taken training to gain knowledge on how to apply his ideas in their professional life.

Two Basic Statements of Reality Therapy

The only available thing in the world that can be controlled by you is “YOURSELF” All we do from birth to death with few exceptions are chosen.

Why mental illness?

We are born with internal purposes; specifically, five genetically encoded needs: Survival Love and Belonging Power Freedom Fun Whenever we feel badly, it means that one or more of these five needs is/are unsatisfied. In most of the cases, unsatisfying relationship is the cause of issues

Behavior: Inseparable but Distinct Components Acting Thinking Feeling The Physiology We can indirectly choose many feelings and some of our physiology through directly choosing Acting & Thinking

Other Important Concepts

External Control Psychology: Common psychology of the world is that almost all people to attempt to control other people.

Quality World: We keep close track of anything we do that feels very good and to store this knowledge in a special place in our brain called our quality world.

To understand: Depression When, using external control thinking, it is as if the "illness" has happened to us; we are not responsible, and we don’t believe we can do much about it. Instead of depression, choice theory would say we are choosing to depress; It offers the concept-“instead of being depressed, we are depressing.” Depressing is the most common way people have discovered to ask for help without begging. Depressing allows us to avoid doing what we are afraid to do. Choose Depression because it is a very effective way of asking others to take care of him/her.

Reality Therapy & Other Therapies

Reality Therapy Vs Psychoanalysis Opposed the Freudian thought of interpreting a person's history & inner turmoil and so people have no responsibility for their behavior. Childhood experiences can affect people one and only if he/she chooses to. Transference was created by Freud to avoid getting personally involved in client’s lives.

Reality Therapy Vs Behaviorism It is applicable only to animals and people who don’t want to change. It has made us the slaves of conditioning principles The idea of change is enough. There is no need of 21 days and all. The duty of the therapist is to give such a motivation and make the people to choose to change.

Reality Therapy Vs Psychiatry Choice theory rejects both the concept of mental illness and the medical model on which it is based. It accepts this model only when there is specific pathology in the brain, such as in Epilepsy or Alzheimer's Disease Psychiatry’s common goal is to diagnose a patient with a mental illness and prescribe medications to treat but in fact, all mental illnesses are manifestations of inner issues.

Reality Therapy Vs Cognitive Therapy Reality Therapy says people can choose both behavior and cognition (If Cognition changes, behavior changes) "If you want to change attitudes, start with a change in behavior“

Reality Therapy Vs/& Person-Centered Therapy Reality Therapy suggests that in case of normal people, Clients should experience some urgency in therapy. Reality Therapist is a person whom clients can't fool, but at the same time is a person who does not punish or withdraw if clients try old irresponsible ways to behave in therapy. If the counselor (or some other responsible person) can't connect with them, there is no possibility of helping them. MANY SIMILARITIES

Reality Therapy Vs/& Gestalt Therapy Reality Therapy conveys the idea that there is hope, no matter how bad things are (Here & Now) Clients will complain forever about their symptoms if the therapist will listen. MANY SIMILARITIES

An Effective Reality Therapist

Be able to feel comfortable with people would not be a part of their lives for which be known much as possible about how human beings function. is usually a person who reads books (fiction, especially), magazines and a daily newspaper, and who keeps in touch with how a wide variety of people are choosing to live their lives. Is a person who knows what life is all about, is successful in dealing with it and are not afraid to discuss any subject with the client. Dr. G.L. Harrington, Dr. Glasser's Mentor for many years was asked by Glasser, What is the most important characteristic of a therapist? Harrington said, to be in better shape than the client, at least in areas where the client is not effective. If the therapist is struggling unsuccessfully with a problem, it is unlikely that he/she can help a client with that problem.

Application with Clients

The therapist's first function is to create a good relationship with the client. From this relationship. From the beginning, the practice of reality therapy takes place in the present. The past is what happened, the future may happen, but what is going on today is the focus of reality therapy. Since almost all of every client’s problems are caused by external control psychology, it will not exist in the counseling situation. Here, it's the clients who make all the choices for themselves and the therapists make all the choices for themselves.

Find the unsatisfied need Teach them the two basic statements through their experiences. Help them to choose the best in the caring, accepting, non coercive choice theory environment If counselors recognize disconnected, pleasure-seeking person, should give up all the usual goals of counseling and focus on just one thing: do whatever is possible to get connected with this person.

Kindly Visit WWW.WGLESSAR.COM for more clarity

Prepared by Karthik Lakshmanan R M, 27th Aug. 2009 for Counseling & Psychotherapy

“Collaboration is like parenting, Task is like our child”

"Comparing Collaboration with Team Work and Tasks with Children"

• Due to the problems within the parents, child may be spoilt.
• Children are precious. Parents are identified to the society by the children.
• In spite of individual differences and conflicts, objective is very important.
• Collaboration is not a solution to solve interpersonal conflicts.
• Thinking of Here & Now.
• Hate the Behavior and not the Person. Everyone deserves the respect.
• We have some unwritten rules of collaboration. In case people don’t know them, they have to be clearly written. Any deviation from the rules has to be taken into account.
• One can show individuality in the collaboration but it should not obstruct others’ hard work and individuality.

For Counseling Psychologists:

First of all, counseling is a collaborative relationship between the counselor and the client.

Counseling is done better when it is collaborated with other counselors, Psychiatrists and General Physicians. To provide social and economic support to the clients, we need to collaborate with NGOs Social Workers, Lawyers and many other professionals. Let us think that everyone stated above are our fellow professionals and we have to protect them. Everyone has ignorance and knowledge about something and something else.That’s why best things work as Collaboration like in Christian Medical College, Vellore and TTK, Chennai.

‘How to work with a team of professionals’ is the part which is missed in the syllabus of Counselling Psychology in Madras School of Social Work!!

Presented with a Role Play for Training & Development Paper by Karthik Lakshmanan